Tuesday, June 18, 2013
As someone who grew up with the original Star Wars trilogy, I remember how excited I was when they announced they were making a new trilogy. I think there are a lot of people out there who remember the excitement that they felt waiting to see the first film in this new trilogy, The Phantom Menace. But that was all the way back in 1999. And now, 14 years later, we have seen the release of two other prequels, to round out a trilogy that everyone agrees is inferior to it’s predecessor. The argument you always hear is not whether the prequels are worse than the originals, but which of the prequels is the worst. And I am here to tell you that, without a shadow of a doubt, Episode I: The Phantom Menace is the worst of the Star Wars franchise. I can already hear you all screaming, “But Alex, how can you think this is worse than Attack of the Clones!” but don’t you worry, Dear Reader, I will get to that! Be patient, because I have had this argument hundreds of times, and I have converted even the most devout Star Wars nerds to my way of thinking.
I think that to really delve into this subject we first need to discuss the differences between making a good movie and making a good Star Wars movie. The distinction is small, but very important when talking about favorites and least favorites.
So, what makes the Star Wars franchise what it is? Is it lightsabers? Is it Yoda? No. The original trilogy worked because it banded together a cast of characters to act out an excellent story of good and evil. Over the course of 379 glorious minutes, we learn about this mystic power called “the force,” an all powerful army of baddies called The Galactic Empire, and the one guy that could possibly bring balance to the good vs evil struggle, Luke. In those movies we get a lot of backstory (but not too much) so that we can accurately wrap our heads around this galaxy (that is apparently in our past...and very far away.) So, what were fans expecting when they went to see the prequels? More of the same.
Sadly, when fans went out to see The Phantom Menace, they saw nothing like what they were expecting. Yes, the film had lightsabers, Yoda, the force, C3PO and plenty of other callbacks to the original, but it didn’t feel like the original. It didn’t have a story that had the overarching feel of A New Hope. Not only that, it also took plenty of the stuff we know and love and shit all over it. Why did they have to explain away the mystical force with midichlorians? Why did C3P0 have to have been made by Anakin? All of these things just seemed like forced references for fanboys, but all it did was enrage them.
Now, I defy you to tell me I’m wrong when I say this: The Phantom Menace can easily be summed up in one sentence. No, I don’t mean the entire plot. What I mean is that all of the pieces that affect the entirety of the new trilogy can be said in one sentence. Yeah? You ready? Obi-wan finds Anakin and takes him to be his Padawan. BAM! Now you don’t have to wade through the boring story, stiff-as-a-board dialogue, or over indulgent references.
Now, you may agree with me that The Phantom Menace stinks, but you, like many before you, will try and tell me that Attack of the Clones is still worse. And let me first agree with you, before I go off on a bit of a rant.
Attack of the Clones is a complete piece of garbage. The dialogue is even worse than that of The Phantom Menace, the acting is stratospherically bad, and the pacing is ungodly. Yes, it is a bad movie, in execution and all. But is it the worst Star Wars movie? No.
Attack of the Clones may not be expertly executed, but what it has going for it is that it sets up all of the relationships and storylines that run into Revenge of the Sith that help round out the trilogy. Attack of the Clones sets up the crucial relationship between Padme and Anakin. It also shows the beginnings of Palpatine manipulating Anakin. Basically, Attack of the Clones is a much better set-up to the overarching plot of the prequels than The Phantom Menace was.
In Attack of the Clones, Anakin is grown up and Obi-wan feels like a completely different character than he was in The Phantom Menace. So what was the point of introducing us to Anakin in The Phantom Menace? It means absolutely nothing seeing him as a kid, because it has no bearing on where to story goes from there. Honestly, if the new trilogy had started with Attack of the Clones, I would have been much happier with the trilogy I got.
And can we please talk about Qui-gon Jinn and Darth Maul, easily the two best characters from The Phantom Menace? These two characters were super awesome, but why did they exist? Was Qui-gon included solely to find Anakin, fight for him to become a Jedi...then die? Why couldn’t it have just been Obi-wan the whole time...then he doesn’t die? Now you don’t need to introduce a completely useless, albeit cool, character into an already convoluted story. They could have at least made his existence kind of important by tying his death into the rest of the story. More references to the sacrifice he made, etc, etc. Something.
And Darth Maul? What the hell? Yes, he is an absolute badass, but he is completely faceless and has no character. Why did they introduce such a promising Sith character and then just kill him off? Yes, I know he comes back and is super cool in the extended universe, but I wanted them to flesh out his character and give him some sort of story arc across the trilogy. It would have been cool to have him and Obi-wan with a long term rivalry that culminates in Revenge of the Sith, or even the end of Attack of the Clones.
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So, in closing, what I’m trying to say is, while Attack of the Clones is a worse movie, it adds way more to the overarching plotline of the new prequel and just feels more like a Star Wars movie. On the other hand, The Phantom Menace is better executed, with much more entertaining action sequences, but fails to deliver on the one thing that Star Wars fans expected: plot.
